Dating? Is it really a game? Or what...
Dear men,
Well, this letter is addressed to the men, but if you are a woman reading this, think of it as “A simple Guide to Finding Mr. Right.” because this is a call to ACTION for SOME men to become Real men.
But Ladies, lets chat a little. Would you agree with me that even if you were a CEO of a major corporation you still need a strong, protective male in your life? Being financially independent doesn't mean you have to switch places with your husband. CEO or not, you don’t lose anything by allowing your husband to be head of the household, you actually gain more of yourself by knowing exactly where you stand and your role in the marriage. Even if you are the main financial provider for the family, the CEO of a big company, when you get home step down some and let a man be a man.
Unfortunately, in today’s society, however, men are not being men. Somewhere along the way, guys became too cool to do anything. Guys, it's time to finally step up and do something about it. Most of you have lost the sight of what it means to love, what it means to be in a healthy relationship and what it means to respect women. When was the last time you asked a girl out on a date? Ok, let me make this clear, I am not talking about walking around Manda Hill aimlessly...that doesn’t count. Neither does a late-night trip to Nandos. I am talking about a REAL date. You know, a sober phone call or in-person conversation, where you man up, ask a girl to dinner, pick her up, talk to her, pay for her meal, and drop her off? Or are you too afraid of rejection and would rather settle for a one night stand?
Listen, it’s time you started to take the lead again. Don't wait for a woman to call you and ask you out on a date. A one-night stand maybe easy, but it can never result in a proper relationship..oh well, maybe some have but that's not how you want to start your relationship. Unless you want to lie about it when asked by your grand children that you met at the bank or some other decent place. Let's be honest! The main reason some men find one night stands to be so easy is because the woman was probably too drunk to make a rational decision, but this is a different topic entirely. If all you can do is score drunk girls, then maybe it's time to reach out to God and ask him to help you have a CLEAR vision of what you want for your life immediately.
For once, though, why don’t you talk to girls without imaging taking her home? Why don’t you try to get to know her? Ask her on a date, don’t be late. Treat her well. Pick her up. Go to her door and knock or ring the door bell. Sending a text saying “I’m here” is the worst thing you could ever do to a woman...a woman is a prize to be won.... At dinner, talk to her. Get to know her. Ask questions. Tell clean jokes. Be yourself. And then at the end, pay for her meal. No hesitation. Well, here is a little secret: while you are going through the initial stages with a girl, she’s constantly assessing you in terms of the future. Will he be a good husband to me? Will he be able to provide for me? Our kids? Will he be a good father? Now, believe me on this...I am a woman. That’s what’s going on in her mind. So the whole time she’s thinking about that and if you are thinking about hooking up with her, so you can go back and brag to your friends...big mistake! Women these days don't do casual...so if you find yourself on a date with a good woman she might be auditioning for a husband/father to her kids so consider that date as a serious interview. And if there is no mutual interest after the date, deal with it like a man. Thank her for her time and move on and I don't mean going on a revenge trip of hurting other women because of one woman who rejected you. Unless you want to sign up for HIV... Life is too short to hurt other people, man up.
Guys, if this is how you date, how do you think you will be as husbands? Think about it!
Do you think that if you can’t be a one-woman man now, that you will somehow get it figured out when you find ‘your future Mrs’? That short-lived pleasure will somehow go away?Not to mention the fact that you will have to look your wife in the eyes, and tell her, how many girls you have been with... had sex with...how many hearts you have broken. The sad part is, maybe when you find the "one" God forbid...but maybe you might find out that you are HIV positive because you refused to date with purpose and honor God with your body. I don't think you want to look back and regret especially getting to see the tears in her eyes... the crushed look on her face, as your future wife learns that she is actually not that special to you anymore, because you have shared a lot of yourself with Dozens of other girls.
But hey! Guess what! It's never too late to change....If you find yourself guilty doing what does not please God, do not worry. You can confess your sins and start a new life John 3:16. That's the beauty of the cross.... See, he came that we may have life and have it abundantly. That's not kill Joy! It's have a life of JOY and Peace. What can beat that? So forget your old life and become the man you would want your daughter to date. Date the woman you would want your son to date. When we date, we must date with purpose. Date a girl because you can see yourself marrying her somewhere down the road. Don't date to break someone's heart or to simply use her because she is naive.
And if you’re in a relationship, and know that you won’t be marrying that girl, break up with her immediately. You can’t waste your years stuck in a fruitless relationship or waste her time just because it’s comfortable or pleasure-filled. Love is deeper than holding hands...
Guys, please you need to get this figured out...you all deep down want that perfect wife, that happy family. You all want that with a woman who is not spoiled. So begin to model yourself to be a good husband now. I know the world has normalized having sex before marriage...but as Christians I think our approach to dating should be DIFFERENT...I personally think the purpose of dating is to get to know someone who would like to marry. Dating someone you know you wouldn't marry is falling in love that will end with broken hearts. If your relationship involves sex before marriage and does not HONOR God. Please Drop it! Make your heavenly father proud. I personally, I endorse courtship. I endorse the old-fashioned way that honors God....
It's never too late to change! Want to become a better man? Feel free to join BSOG(Beloved Sons Of God) you can also add me on what's app 001 404 396 5712 or send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com to find out more about BSOG.
It's time to let GO!!! Yes, ALL of it... Who HURT you so badly that you can't even enjoy your life? The men/women who hurt you or let you down, are just memories. God has great things in store for you, and it’s time for you to let go of your past pain. You can’t change things in your past, and you can’t undo what’s done. Don’t let yesterday ruin today. You met a guy/girl who cheated on you repeatedly, doesn’t mean the next guy/girl is going to do the same:-) Think about it this way. If you bite into a pear and a worm pops out, are you going to stop eating pears the rest of your life? Of course not!!You are going to throw away that one bad pear and buy another one. Don’t let one man/woman (or a few) ruin it for the others. And don’t carry around the burden of anger, upset, and frustration. The only person it’s damaging is YOU. So here’s what I want you to do today….not tomorrow but TODAY. I want you to write a list of all the men/women in your life who hurt you. I want you to write a list of the relationships that didn’t work out for whatever reason. I want you to write down how you feel about every single one of them today. Then do you know what else I want you to do?:-)) Can you Guess... I want you to take that piece of paper and burn it! Or you can just tear the paper to pieces or put it in a shredder and shred it. Then, I want you to vow to NEVER let ANY of the stuff you wrote on that paper affect you again. It’s time to make PEACE with your past. It’s time to free yourself, and start living a happy life. John 10:10 Jesus came that we may have LIFE...and life in ALL its Fullness...Listen you can't ENJOY a FULL life if you continue carrying around a ton of “past hurt” on your shoulders. Let it GO!!! And set yourself FREE...
